after you left 2

I didn't keep myself from crying
I wanted to let it all out
to let you all out
I hoped that parts of you
the parts that made me wanting you to stay
would escape from my eyes
that all I've seen of them
would be washed away
would dry on the floor
like those bottles of water we used to pour 

on the terrace tiles and watched the heat vaporize it
just for fun remember?
and what remained
by the wind would be carried away

I wanted to share these tears with you
I wanted to have more time to hug you
I wanted us to stay at that airport gate for hours and cry until there would be no flights left
But most of all
I wanted you to go on that flight
and believe that everything would be okay that leaving was the right thing to do

So I didn't.
I never hugged you for that long
I never told you how much I'd miss you
didn't even cry in front of you
and that stayed with me

but you didn't